United I Stand

Stale News

(CNN) -- Well, Roger Clemens has finally done it.

After winning 354 games and two World Series titles, after striking out 4,672 batters and being selected to 11 All-Star Games, after bringing hope to Boston and bliss to New York and revival to Houston, the Rocket has, at long last, accomplished something bigger than the game of baseball itself. Somehow, this man -- this preposterous man -- has united America.

It's true. With Monday's acquittal of charges that Clemens lied to Congress in 2008 when he insisted he never used performance-enhancing drugs during his 24-year big league career, Americans across all boundaries came together as one. Republicans and Democrats, tea partiers and Occupiers, Christians and Jews, blacks and whites, dog lovers and cat lovers, nuns and death row inmates -- all could hold hands and sing in one loud, harmonious voice, "What the hell is our government doing?"

And We're at it Again

(CNN) -- The U.S. Anti-Doping Agency said Friday that it has filed doping charges against champion cyclist Lance Armstrong.

This month, the agency announced that it was opening proceedings against Armstrong and five former teammates.

"USADA can confirm that the independent three person Anti-Doping Review Board (ADRB) has conducted a full evaluation and has made a unanimous recommendation to move forward with the adjudication process in accordance with the rules," it said in a statement.

Does this mean anything beyond the fact that I'm spending too much time reading CNN and paying attention to sport, and that everyone's going looney over this stuff?  Probably not.

Notice Anything Different?

 

Notice Anything Stigmatic?

Truly incredible!  In an ordinary package of frozen "fish sticks" was this slightly askew symbol of a major Western religion.  They did not just fall out of the package this way and find themselves juxtaposed.  No, they were compressed together, interwoven and inseparable, as if by Plan. Perhaps I should resume a careful scrutiny of the Wheats.