Obsessed by Sleep, Embarrassed by Spam

It is my great good fortune to not be obsessed by sleep.  I'm not insomniac, I go to sleep when I'm tired, I wake up in the morning at what seems like an appropriate time.  I don't go through the day with an "I only got five hours of sleep" demeanor - if I happened to then I'll get extra tomorrow.  But I do have a pretty good idea of how much sleep I got.  It's calibrated by the number of email "spam" messages I've gotten over the night!

I have to admit that I find spam embarrassing.  It's almost beyond the "problem" stage.  While it would be nice to wake up to only legitimate email instead of the (literally!) 300+ spams I get on an average morning, I have gotten to the point of deleting them reflexively.  It takes well under a second per message.  I'm guessing 300ms/spam, but perhaps I'll remember to time it some day.  And that's the embarrassing part.  Why?  Spammers are not just criminals, they're idiots.  They are so incredibly inept that their messages have no chance of being mistaken for something I'd ever want to look at.  It's like bulk rate postage on an envelope, except that there is no physical debris when they are summarily discarded.  And I resent being treated that way.  Spammers!  If you're going to be a criminal, at least show some respect for your victim!  What is the point of spending effort, if not money, to send the same message to a hundred million people, and then misspell the subject?  Will even one person out of that hundred million look at a message offering "lower ratess?"  Grrrr.

Whether it's 150 spams (got to bed late, up early) or 350 (a night of luxurious slumber), they're gone in seconds.  But I wish they were either more entertaining or eliminated automatically.  Oddly enough, I actually do have a solution to the spam problem!  I have invented this, but it will require the world's cooperation, and nobody (but you, of course,) pays any attention, so it either won't happen or will be implemented by others.  You will have heard it here first, though.  Look for it in an upcoming blogentry.
 

Follow-up 14 June 2006

14 June 2006 - over 500 spams this AM, a new record!
 

Follow-up 08 November 2006

I was SO tempted to follow up on this one:
Subject: CONTACT YOUR CLAM AGENT DR.JOSE MARTINEZ