|
Sedona Arizona, the town where I live, is a very famous tourist destination. We have gorgeous scenery and the red rocks of renown. What is less well-known is that it's a small town. The actual population is only about 10,000, very similar in size to Kinnelon NJ, my previous home. Unlike New York City, where I was notionally "brought up," and which makes the headlines every day, small towns don't have a whole lot going on.
But Not Nothing
We do have a newspaper, The Sedona Red Rock News. And a police department. And crime, of a sort. Selected more for risibility than for typicality, you have been spared almost all of the the domestic disputes, traffic stops without sequelae, shoplifting, trespassing, and loitering. But only almost all. Below you will find a demonstration of my research and paste-up skills* over the past months. To tempt you, there are snippets about:
- Loitering. In a water fountain
- Harvey the attack squirrel**
- Tequila theft from multiple stores
- Theft. Of a thermal mug and alarm clock
- Premeditated Public Bagpipage
- The ever popular dish misplacement
- And a threat to slit someones throat when he least expects it
Imagine if I had been doing years of research...
* Oh, you doubt my paste-up skills? Check out The Clams of Cupertino!
** I don't know for sure that the attack squirrel was named Harvey, or even named at all. Nonetheless—bloggers' and plagiarizers' privilege—he's Harvey***.
*** Neither do I know if Harvey is a he-squirrel. I'll take refuge in trad. grammar here. |
|
