Richard's Scissorsgone

We haven't seen one of these in a while:

Apple really, really declines to comment. Someone is busy not commenting over there in Cupertino.

And we won't be seeing any more.

Oh sure — I can still take pictures of them,

A spokeswoman for Apple declined to comment.

but it's just not the same. There's something more convincing, more permanent about a clipped piece of paper than a digital photograph of an iPad screen. And the clippings are easier to aggregate, too. Yes, I can do the photos without a glue stick, but I think the Declined to Comment Saga has come to an end.

Scissors scissors scissors scissors

Isn't that a funny-looking word?

And It's All George's and Apple's Fault

Q: George who?
A: George W. Bush, the most-recently-ex president of the United States of America. How soon we forget!

President George W. Bush and former first lady Laura Bush may be BlackBerry addicts, but Apple's iPad is their new must-have gadget. In an interview for Yahoo's Newsmakers series, Laura Bush said her husband "loves" his iPad. "He reads the Wall Street Journal on it in the morning before the paper even is thrown," she noted.

George and I have that iPad app in common. So much so that I don't even know what time the paper arrives, since I start reading it (or yesterday's or last week's edition — I'm inevitably behind) while I remain cozily covered and warm.

Mr. Yamada claims ... top prize at the 2006 Minnesota Assocation Rogue Taxidermists championships.

Does this mean that we'll never see any more "clippings" from the Wall Street Journal? Hardly. At least not as long as they keep publicizing groups such as the Minnesota Association of Rogue Taxidermists. I wonder if they're affiliated with the Swiss Federal Yodeling Association.

Of course, the "clippings" will be cropped photos from now on.

Harder To Pronounce, But Just as Pernicious

The NJDUC has a shorter and less colorful history than the USDUC, the United States Department of Unintended Consequences. Since New Jersey is my home state, I have learned to pronounce it ("nijduck") and am attuned to the occasional sighting. Here's a photo of the iPad screen depicting their latest initiative:

New Jersey Department of Unintended Consequences at work - the end of manufacturer's rebates in NJ.

The measure requires retailers to charge consumers an advertised after-rebate price rather than making them send in coupons or log on to a manufacturer's website to claim their savings.

Of course the rebate game is able to exist because many people of the lazy or stupid or rich or forgetful persuasion don't take advantage of rebates. Thus, manufacturers and retailers are able to offer incredible deals ($10 USB memory stick — Free after $10 rebate) precisely because they know they will get some money from the people who don't comply with the rebate's silly terms. If the retailer has to process the rebate on the spot, the retailer won't participate, the manufacturer won't sell his goods at all, and, most importantly, no more free USB memory sticks for me. Thank you, NJDUC operatives and Mr. Legislature.

I've neglected to express here my lament for the recent passing of many outrageous bank charges. Now that the banks can't get their loot from people who don't manage their accounts to avoid those charges, they're looking for ways to get it from those who do, and they seem to be succeeding. The USDUC at work, of course. Now that that job is complete it seems that some of their laid-off workers have migrated here.