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19 August 2011
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Organizations That Allegedly Exist

I was cleaning up some clippings from the Journal and noticed that I have inexplicably failed to mention an organization that probably has as much clout as the Swiss Expert Commission on Alphorn Blowing and sounds even more ominous.  I can either try to work it into a full blog or just mention it and others in this list as it grows.  Either way, once I get an attack of Indburrishness and try to clean my desk, loose newspaper clippings must go.  So, noted without further comment:

  • In an article in the Wall Street Journal on 06 August 2010 about the Commonwealth Game, the Indian Central Vigilance Commission pointed to a series of deficiencies as inspectors toured a host of games-related works...

  • 1992 IUPAC/IUPAP Transfermium Working Group (TWG) are the people who certify new elements in the periodic table.  Good work, guys!  (And gals, if any.)

  • Mulch and Soil Council, mentioned on 14 June 2011 in Ralph Gardner's column in the Wall Street Journal.  Ralph is against red mulch.  I'm color-agnostic, as long as the heap is eventually disappeared.

  • The Cement League, "When you join us you become a part of the Building Trade Employers' Association. This Organization (B.T.E.A.) is responsible for the New York Plan which is a labor plan established by labor to create harmony with reference to jurisdiction disputes.  (Emphasis supplied.  WSJ 18 August, Greater New York section.)

  • The Louisiana Ballooning Foundation and the Association of New Jersey Orchestras both support the AT&T purchase of T-Mobile USA.  And yet the government is against it!  (WSJ 01 September 2011, Money & Investing section)

  • Association for the Mutual Assistance of the French Nobility - (WSJ 05 October, Front section) section

  • The Corduroy Appreciation Club - Just try showing up without at least three corduroy items on and see how long you can stay.  (WSJ 11 November, Front section)

  • The National Headache Foundation - "yes, apparently there is one," says the Wall Street Journal on 03 April in the Greater New York section.

  • The International Earth Rotation and Reference Systems Service - Needless to say, this must be international.  Can you imagine if each country had its own, and they had a disagreement? 

  • The Association of Synthetic Grass Installers.  (WSJ 14 June 2013, Mansion section)

  • The Cloud Appreciation Society. (WSJ 12 July 2013, Front Section).  A triple-bonus-sighting!  Not just an organization, but an entity (Crozet) and a picture of virga, which I'm always pointing out when I see it because it's unusual and I like the name.

  • The National Snow and Ice Data Center. (WSJ 12 January 2019, U.S. News section)

  • The Interagency Grizzly Bear Committee (WSJ 13 June 2020, Off Duty section)
  • The National Turkey Federation (WSJ 30 November 2020, Life & Arts section). Of course.

And Those That May Not, But Surely Should

I have been known to create organizations for my own purposes.  I was reminded of this by a reader's question about the noble PLUCO.

  • CATWOKE - Citizens Against The Waste Of Kinetic Energy

  • Federal Takeout Coordination Bureau, Plastic Goods Authority, Federal Spinach Inspectors Union, International Union of Peanut Butter Scrutinizers

  • Federal Department of Woodwind Safety*

    The National Snow and Ice Data Center - WSJ article on 12 January 2019 about Cold War Games


* From Dave Barry's review of year 2011:

The troubled musical Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark suffers yet another setback when four orchestra musicians are killed by what producers describe as a “freak clarinet accident.” Responding to the tragedy, President Obama delivers a nationally televised address, expressing his personal sympathy and noting that Republicans in Congress have repeatedly blocked the administration’s proposed $37 billion Federal Department of Woodwind Safety, which would create literally dozens of jobs.

© 2011
Richard Factor